Things Change
by Shrimpy Kay
Summary: My submission for the angst contest details inside So a warning, it's not happy.


Thanks, Natty, for beta-ing my story. Again. You're my official person now.

So here's my submission to the angst contest. I didn't re-read it fully, because I didn't feel like reading angst. But now I can go back from the dark side, yay.

This story is part is the _Angst Competition, _and it ends August 25. Basically, anyone is welcome to write an angst fanfic, and just make sure people know it's for the competition (oh, and no Chuck/Casey/Sarah deaths). On August 25, there will be a poll up on Brick's profile, so to see the full list of stories, and then vote for a winner, go to /u/1440214/brickroad16. Pretty please?

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Sarah stared at him breathing in and out peacefully, sprawled out on the couch. His arm was slung over the side, an empty beer bottle on the floor beside him where it had slid from his hand. It was one of those times where just the sight of his face would make her heart pound; one of those times when she never questioned whether or not she loved Chuck Bartowski. At the same time, her heard ached because it was only when he was asleep when her love for him was complete. But otherwise… Chuck was a mess. His life had been turned upside down, and when he could no longer take all the pain in his life and began spiraling down, he grabbed Sarah's hand and brought her down with him. It had all started with Ellie.

_Gunshots. In the Buy More. Sarah and Chuck's breaths were ragged from the running. This was definitely now how she'd planned his birthday--his first birthday with them being a real couple, which meant that tomorrow was the anniversary of the day they met, and exactly six months since they agreed to try a relationship. Sarah held his hand while loading her gun with her other, both hiding behind the Nerd Herd desk where they'd first met. It would've been kind of romantic, if not for the numerous people trying to kill them. _

_That was when the door to the store opened, and as Chuck watched, Ellie came in carrying a cake, a grin on her face. "I know you're working late but—" And then two shots, and she collapsed on the ground, the ghost of her smile still etched on her face. _

_It had all happened so suddenly. Chuck tried running over to his sister, tears spilling over his cheeks, but Sarah grabbed him and pulled, not letting him go. He screamed in anguish, his voice echoing throughout the entire store, giving away their hiding place. Casey killed the last two Fulcrum agents in the time it took to snap his fingers, so by the time that Chuck fiercely pulled away from Sarah, there was no more danger. He ran to his sister screaming, "Ellie!" but her ears could no longer hear him cry out, and her eyes could no longer watch her brother sob. _

He hadn't recovered from that blow, but then again, who could? Only three months ago, he'd had to watch his sister and only family member be killed, and he could blame any one but himself. No longer would Chuck be able to celebrate his birthday, as it would always be remembered as the anniversary of Ellie's death.

Sarah ran her hand through his hair, despite what he'd become. That day, nice, sweet Chuck disappeared, replaced by one who drank for hours on end, with an extremely short temper. He threw tantrums, smashing things in their apartment… even assaulting Sarah at times. The sex became rough; more as an outlet for anger than a sign of love. And lying in bed, Sarah could hear his sobs, ashamed and afraid of what he'd become. She thought about leaving him, but when she saw his tears, it was as if he was tying a rope around her and forcing her to stay. She was sure that deep down, his love for her ran deep, but the old Chuck was being held captive by this new one. She could only hope that the nerd she'd fallen in love with was still there, and hadn't diminished forever.

He stirred, and for a moment Sarah hoped that he could wake up and be like he used to be, and everything would be like before. But of course that didn't happen. Opening his eyes groggily, Chuck croaked for water, and Sarah ran to get it for him, stopping by the bathroom to get two Tylenol PMs. He let her feed him the pills and water and then slowly got up.

"What was that?" he asked gruffly.

"What?"

"The pills."

"Tylenol PM."

"What? I have some work to do, and you feed me something to make me fall asleep?!"

He went from calm to angry in the time that it took Sarah to snap. Her anger rose along with his, and she got up from kneeling by the couch. "You wouldn't be able to do any work with the kind of hangover you're getting anyway. So sorry that I'm just looking out for you."

Chuck rose so that he was sitting up, a snarl on his face. "Goddamnit… hand me that beer on the table, will you?"

When she did nothing, he reached over to where the bottle lay half full, but Sarah grabbed it away before he could. "No more alcohol for you."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm tired of you drinking your life away."

"Give it to me!"

Sarah watched as he rose up from the couch slowly, reaching out a hand to her, silently asking for the bottle. But she would not give in. "No."

"Do as I say!" He raised his hand, and before he could even think about what he was doing and control it, Chuck smacked her across the face. Sarah's face immediately turned red as tears started spilling from her eyes. But the dizziness that he felt mixed with this need to drink away his problems didn't let the old Chuck reach in and make him realize what he'd just done.. "Give it to me. Now." He reached over one more time, but Sarah swerved away, tears still running down her cheeks. But Chuck couldn't appreciate what she was trying to do; couldn't appreciate that even now, she still stood by him. Instead he seethed and screamed at her. "NOW!"

Sarah looked at him in anger and threw the bottle on the floor, the liquid seeping into the carpet. Chuck's face went from surprise to fury. He shot up so that he was standing and walked over to her. He jerked her hair towards him, making her to cry out, and Sarah could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Now look what you've done," he spat and pushed her head away, causing her to lose her balance and fall, clutching the wet carpet.

Tears fell from her face, mixing in with the spilled beer. When they moved in together, they no longer needed bugs to make sure that Chuck was all right, plus, as Casey remarked, he didn't want to have to hear them together. But now she desperately wished that he could come to her rescue. When all three of them were together, Chuck spoke back in anger and didn't listen, but he never raised a hand to Sarah.

She got up slowly, rubbing her arms where they'd gotten a rug burn, and snatched her purse off of the counter, then walking out of the door with a slam..

--

Sarah slowly opened the door, making sure that it didn't creak. It was an invisible pull; no matter for how long she left, for some reason she always came back, usually to find Chuck sleeping. He was not on the couch, so she tipped over to their room and opened the door. There he lay, sprawled on one side of the bed, his body shaking. She'd done some thinking, and although she knew that this was going to be the hard, it was what had to be done. "Chuck."

He looked up with a tear-streaked face. "I'm sorry," he whispered as his body shook with each word. "I'm so, so, sorry."

Her heart aching, Sarah sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair, a tear falling down her face. "I know. But I'm sorry, Chuck. I just can't live like this anymore."

It was as if the world stopped. His face fell even more, staring at her in disbelieving eyes. "Please, no," he choked out. "I can change, I promise. Please don't give up on me.."

She shook her head softly. "That's the thing, Chuck. I've waited this long, hoping that maybe we could go back to how we were before. But that was stupid; what's done is done."

Grabbing her arm so that she could not get up, Chuck gasped for air. "Sarah," he croaked. "I love you."

"I love you too. But that's just not enough, is it?" Tears spilling from both their cheeks, she stood up, letting go of his hand. "Maybe… maybe later on things will be different, and we can try this again. But for now I have to ask for a reassignment. And I have to leave."

He said nothing, because he knew that despite what he said, all those things she said were true. Chuck could only stare, crying, as Sarah silently packed up a bag of clothes. She could not look at him as she did this; not see the betrayal he was feeling.

Now she stood before him, saying her final goodbye. Sarah leaned over so that they could share one last quick kiss, and then backed off, now standing in the doorway. "Take care of yourself, Chuck. Please."

Sarah left him then, not looking back, not giving herself the chance to back out of this and try to wait it out a little longer. Raising her hand to call a taxi, the tears still coming, she had this feeling that she was doing the right thing.

Sometimes things just don't work out.

**--**

I know it's short, really really short, but quality over quantity, right? (Does this apply to this situation?) I'd love it if you would RnR


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